


don't leave

by solarwolf



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Bucky Barnes Dies, Character Death, Closeted, Drabble, Emotional Hurt, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Sad, Steve Rogers Cries, its only referenced at tho, no editing or proofreading we die like men, the two times steve had to watch his soulmate die, this was written in a fit of angst hunger at 2am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 20:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17690372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarwolf/pseuds/solarwolf
Summary: the two times Steve had to watch his soulmate die





	don't leave

**Author's Note:**

> written cuz i wanted to be sad, its 2am, no editing or proofreading we die like men

The first time it happened it felt like all his nerves were exposed. With his hand still reaching out to the space he once was, time felt irrelevant and the only thing he could hear was his own breath as he gasped for air. Bucky. The name lingered on his lips, the syllables tangible yet like smoke all at the same time. A lump in his throat as thick as the knot that connected a tire to the tree he and Bucky had found and had spent many evenings at when his asthma hadn’t bedridden him. He felt it impossible to reconcile that bucky was gone, one second he was there and the next, just air. Steve wasn’t a fool though and he was there to complete a mission, pulling himself together he pushed his grief down as far as it could go, down next to all the times he had seen Bucky with his arms around some girl, smiling at her the way he smiled at him, next to the times they had to yank their hands apart because someone had walked past the alley they were in. He shoved it down and did what he came here to do, maybe God would be merciful and he would fall in the line of duty — no, Bucky wouldn’t want that for him. Physically shaking the thought away Steve pushed himself off of the ground and steeled his courage, and marched forward.

The second time, he was numb. Why. He had just gotten Bucky back, the true bucky, the one who made jokes and held his hand and was whole. Then he was gone, crumbling apart and blowing away in a tough breeze. Steve felt his eyes burn as he sat there in the ground, he’d forever be the man out of time; he was aware of someone’s hand on his shoulder but he couldn’t find it in him to care enough to react. Once again he found himself shoving it down, he was still needed, he couldn’t wallow in his grief no matter how much he wanted to. Once again, he attempted to steel himself but found it impossible to stop the tears, Bucky was truly gone, and he had just got him back.


End file.
